Your Painful Thoughts Are Absurd
"Obviously you're not cut out to be a mother."
When I lose my patience, when I'm tired, when I'm counting the minutes until my husband gets home and I can pass our son to him and have a few moments of not being touched - obviously you're not meant to be a mother…you made a mistake - starts playing in the back of my mind like the world's worst infomercial.
I know that these thoughts are lies, but that knowledge didn't help me to banish them.
What helped was dropping a dish today and watching it shatter. I shrugged it off. Things breaking don't bother me much (losing things, however, is another story for another time). I picked up the mess and got on with my day. But something suddenly clicked.
I broke the dish, but that didn't mean that I'm just not cut out for handling dinnerware.
Obviously, you're not cut out to eat. Or use your hands. Or clean up after yourself.
Imagine if every time you slipped up or struggled, you believed that the task at hand must then be completely out of your reach forever. Just not for you. Better to give up now.
Did you say you wanted to order clam chowder when you really meant minestrone? Shoot, I guess you're just not cut out to talk.
With a little perspective, you'll find that your most damaging thoughts are just as ridiculous.
So treat them appropriately. As passing. Silly. Misguided. Don't let an illusory knife leave wounds. We all have enough healing to do in this lifetime without inventing new ways to hurt ourselves.